SHEEPSHEAD BAY, Brooklyn –
A commercial for Schwartz, Schwartz & Delano LLC currently making the rounds on local television claims personal injury litigator Sol Delano will personally injure you, pin the blame on someone else, and then provide legal representation against this person to get you the compensation you deserve.
“Have you been injured in an accident?” Delano asks into the camera, “If not, let’s make something happen. In 30 years of experience I have won clients more than 100 million dollars for damages I framed on innocent people.”
Delano goes on to list a diverse portfolio of mishaps he has been responsible for, including motor-cycle accidents, faulty ladders, and selling scalding-hot cups of coffee with broken lids from the back of his van.
The south-Brooklyn native, who is rarely seen without his black-suede sports’ coat and sunglasses, recently won widow Iris Eggbert over two million dollars after pushing the 85-year-old grandmother down a stalled escalator and blaming it on Eggbert’s son-in-law. Other recipients include retirees Jerome and Mabel Selig, whose Marine Park home Delano set fire too earlier this year with a cigarette that belonged to a neighbor.
According to court documents Delano is currently representing Willie Studebaker, a 33-year-old construction worker from Queens who Delano fired multiple shots into last week with an air-compressed nail-gun. The attorney is suing manufacturer DeWalt Enterprises, citing a vague and ambiguous user-manual.
“I will frame someone and make them pay for YOU, ” the partner exclaims as animated titles for the law-firm fly across the screen.
“With Schwartz Schwartz & Delano, there is always an accident just waiting to happen.”